‘90s kids who weren’t raised on Clueless? As if! Clueless, otherwise known as the ultimate coming-of-age comedy, is the perfect, nostalgic throwback for anyone born when an apple was just a fruit and not a tech giant, reality stars weren’t in the White House, and wearing a bright yellow plaid skirt and blazer set was socially acceptable, if not encouraged. The movie represents a simpler time and it defined a generation, from style to music to driver’s ed.
But how would Clueless look if it represented the current generation? While some of the issues in the film have remained relevant, plenty of things have changed since 1995, so Cher Horowitz’s life would be completely different.
1. Instead of the mall, Cher would be addicted to online shopping.
Nowadays, malls are like museums dedicated to the past, complete with old people hustling the halls in jogging gear like ghosts of #TBTs past. Cher may have been mall-obsessed, but now that would be just plain sad. In 2018, she’d be Amazon Prime’s top customer, with boxes dropped off at her house via drones the same, exact day she bought them.
2. Cher would set her sights on more relevant charitable causes.
Instead of disaster relief and small-time matchmaking, the modern-day Cher would definitely be focused on ultra-modern philanthropy, things like banning snacking on Tide pods or hacking Tinder to set up her unlucky-in-love teachers.
3. Cher never would have failed her driving test.
It was tough for Cher, whose dad was constantly working and who herself was always busy, to pass her driver’s test, and of course, it led to her being the world’s most infamous unlicensed virgin (way harsh, Tai). Now, Cher would have the help of Aceable to earn her driver’s license and pass with flying colors.
4. Mr. Horowitz would be rich from a whole new industry.
The family’s luxurious Beverly Hills mansion, fancy cars, and high-end clothes would be purchased with the money Cher’s dad made through trading Bitcoin. Lawyers and cold, hard cash? As if. So 2017. Oh, and the cars? Consider those electric. Gotta be sustainable.
5. Cher would not fall in love with her ex-stepbrother.
That whole family connection aspect of the story was always kind of an uncomfortable realization.