Most cops will tell you the best excuse for speeding is no excuse at all. Fess up, take the ticket and enroll in an online defensive driving course to avoid points on your record. But that doesn’t stop people from trying to talk their way out of it.
The vast majority of speeding excuses fail, however, they’re nonetheless entertaining. Here are a few of the most ridiculous excuses from around the web after a cop asks “why were you going so fast?”.
My grandfather is having an insulin reaction.
One driver claims that he and his diabetic grandfather came up with a speeding scheme. Anytime the driver got pulled over for speeding he’d say his grandfather was having an insulin reaction and ask for a police escort. The elaborate charade only worked when grandad was home.
I’m driving a decomposing body to a funeral.
If you’re a funeral driver with a stinky body that hasn’t been embalmed you may get out of a speeding ticket.
I wanted to see how fast the car would go.
Um, there’s a speedometer for that. Here’s your ticket.
I didn’t want to slow down in this neighborhood.
Guess that means you think the cop works in a less than ideal location.
I’m late for the tailgate.
In college towns football season is sacred, but it’s hard to believe a cop would let you off scot free so the tailgating party can commence.
I’ve got to go #1 . . . or #2.
If you use this common excuse you may have to go to extreme measures to back it up.
My spinning rims make the car look faster than it is.
Sure. And those ghost flames on the hood make the car look faster too.
I was trying to kill a bug in the speedometer.
Apparently the bug was on the right side of the speedometer needle.
I’m late to a Boy Scouts meeting.
One reddit responder swears that he got out of four speeding tickets with his uniform and the excuse above. Does scout’s honor mean nothing anymore?
I was trying to impress my date.
Hopefully they were more impressed with how you handled getting a ticket than how you handled driving the vehicle.
I got a leg cramp.
That made me push the gas pedal down for a sustained period and made it impossible to hit the brakes. If that’s true, hopefully the next stop is the hospital.
My right foot is injured so I had to drive with my left foot.
If the cop knows anything about podiatry (or walking in general) this excuse will get shot down in a second.